There was once a giant who adored plum pudding. Not the sort of pudding, you understand, that is stuffed with currants and raisins and peel, and sultanas - -  not that sort of pudding at all,but a good suet crust, packed tight with fresh, juicy, red plums. It was unfortunate, to say the least of it, that he had this passion, for it kept all his neighbours on tenterhooks during plum season. They never knew when his seven leagued boots would come striding into their orchards, and the amount of plums left when the giant hed finished would not have made a dumpling, let alone a pudding. 

They tried everything to protect their trees, but so few things are any use against a giant. High walls he simply stepped over ‘barbed wire and broken glass scarcely pricked him, and as for netting he just tore it off the trees and threw it about. 

Now there was one orchard in particular where grew the most wonderful plums. Year after year they hung, fat and purple, from the trees weighing the branches down to the ground. Year after year, just when they were at their very ripest, the giant came striding over the orchard wall, a basket on his arm, and stripped the lot. The little old woman who owned the orchard began to get annoyed, She had tried barbed wire, she had tried netting, but all to no purpose, and she made up her mind that next plum season, come what would, she would get even with the giant. 

So when she saw the fruit beginning to ripen on her orchard trees again she got busy. First she sent away for dozens and dozens of jars, and then she sent a secret message round to all her neighbours.  Day by day the plums ripened, till they hung purple and fat from the branches of the trees, and the giant came striding down from his castle.

"HO! HO!" he laughed, and his great voice echoed through the orchard, and drew the little old woman out of her cottage. “This is the best crop for years In the morning, old women, I shall be along with my basket." 

"Oh dear, oh dear," sighed the little old woman, dolefully (but there was a twinkle in her eye that the glent did not see) "and mayn't I keep any for myself?” 

‘Well there," said the giant, who had a soft place in his heart in spite of his greediness, "if you like to pick a few for yourself tonight, I shan't grumble,” and he strode off, plicturing to himself the lusciousness of the plum puddings those purple plums would make.

But the old woman, who, you will remember, had a twinkle in her eye that the giant did not see, ran into her cottage as fast as she could and was out again in a jiffy with a flag in her hand. Up she pulled it to the top of her flag post, and ran to stoke up her fire. In a moment she heard foot~ steps, and there were two neighbours. 

“Here we are," they cried,” we saw your flag, and we have come with our baskets." 

"Thank you,neighbours," said the little old woman, “pick for me and you shall have a basketful for yourselves."

Quickly on their heels came a boy and girl. "Thank you kindly," said the little old women," pick for me and you shall have a basketful for yourselves." 

And on their heels came others, till the orchard was full of men and women, and boys and girls, picking, and picking. 

Inside the cottage, the Little old woman, with two of her neighbours to help “her, bottled and bottled and bottled. When night came there was not a plum left on the trees and the cottage was just full of Jars of bottled plums. The tired neighbours went home with their basketfuls, and the Little old woman tumbled into bed, chuckling as she did so. 

In the morning, along came the giant, basket and all. You should have seen his face. His chin dropped til it nearly hit his chest, and his voice boomed out till it scared all the birds in the orchard.

 "WHERE ARE MY PLUMS?" 

Out from the cottage popped the Little old woman. She looked up at the trees in a puzzled sort of way. 

“Dear me,” she said. "I must have picked them" But you said I could keep some for myself, didn't you?"

 “Some! You’ve had them all! And where are they?" and he strode up to the cottage.

  "Now, now, do be careful," called the little old woman, (for she was a tidy old women) “do be careful, or you will upset my cottage.” 

Now the giant was so tall that he could not see through the windows, so he Lifted off the roof and peeped in. And there inside were rows and rows and rows of beautiful bottled plums.  The giant picked up a jar and looked at it. Then he scratched his head, for he was not a very intelligent giant. 

“ What have you done to them? “ he puzzled. 

"Just put that roof back" scolded the little old woman, " and lie down on the ground, and then I can talk to you” 

She sat herself down by his ear, and told him all about bottling plums. “They will keep for months and months?" he gasped. “You can heave plus padding ell the year round?" 

“All the year round!" nodded the little old woman, The giant sat up and clasped his hands in entreaty. 

"Oh, dear little old woman",he begged, "do this wonderful trick for me. Come and be my housekeeper, and make me plum puddings all the year round," 

The little old woman put her head on one side and thought. First she looked at her cottage. It certainly did leak, and as the giant had put the roof back all crooked, it would leak worse than ever now. Then she looked at the giant. It was a nuisance that he was so big, but, gracious me, what was that? He had a hole in his sock as big as a potato. And that decided her. He might  big but he did need looting after. Still, she was not giving in too easily.

 "I might,” she said, grudgingly, but there was a twinkle in her eye that the giant did ‘not see "I might, but not if you steal the plums.” 

The giant's face fell, so she took off her stern expression and smiled at him. "If you pay for those you take, I will bottle them and make you plum pudding all the year round." 

The giant was so afraid that she would change her mind, he picked her up then and there in one hand and her cottage in the other to save moving her things, and strode away over the fields and up the hill to his castle. And there the old woman is to this day, and all the year round she makes plum puddings with a good suet crust, and rich purple juice but she keeps the giant in such good order that he dare not be seen nowadays with even the tiniest hole in his sock.

Notes and Comments:

From 1932 this reads to me as one of the short story pieces where Doris tried different story ideas until she settled on her "Seeing the funny side" style.