UNCONVENTIONAL CALLERS (1), Nice Cabbages. 

When the old man who pushes his barrow of vegetables first began to knock at our back door, I used to open it briskly and begin: 

"Good morning, I want a pound of onions and a shillingsworth of potatoes," 

But I have learnt better now. Such an attnrs simply knocks him off his balance and leaves him gasping, necessitating repeating the order in full. Now I adopt the right procedure and we understand one another.

| "Good morning!" I say, and he puts his basket slowly down on the step, straightens his back, gives a sigh and replies: "Good morning. What weather!"

 We take a look at the sky together and he sighs again, 

“This rain," he says (or possibly “this drought" or "this wind") "It’ll be bad for the fruit, it will. I know a man as grows apples, now, over to Wisbech way, and he was telling me yesterday..." 

I lean against the door-post and wait, knowing how useless it is to discuss orders while his mind is on crops, But he oe it back at last to the matter in hand, 

"A vegetable for dinner?" he says. "Why, I've got some nice cabbages," 

I point out that we had a cabbage yesterday and he seems surprised that this should matter. 

"Have one to-day as well," he suggests. "There's nothing nicer than a nice cabbage, now is there?"

“Lots of things," I reply promptly,"asparagus and new peas, for instance." 

He looks at me in a puzzled way and shakes his head, but answers patiently, as if explaining to a child: 

"Sparrow-grass? I don't handle that. Don't get asked for it much neither, And peas is over now; I ain't seen peas this past month.”

He shrugs it away and dives in his basket to emerge with a cabbage like a football. 

"I've some real good cabbages to-day,” he says and strokes it lovingly."You cook that for your dinner and you'll be all right. There's nothing like a nice cabbage now, is there?” 

Though I have often been tempted, I have never yet been cruel enough to make the obvious reply!